As we walk the earth, and go through every phase of life, there comes a time of rejection in each of our lives. No matter how much you believe that you cannot be rejected, you will be rejected someday, somewhere, by someone. Even God is rejected daily by folks who don’t know him nor believe in him, nevertheless, that doesn’t affect God or make him change who He is. People reject something when they are ignorant of all its benefits. It therefore means that at the end, your attitude towards rejection, is what really counts. But,how can one have a good attitude towards rejection, when he or she has never been taught?
We’ve been taught how to be accepted and we’ve been trained to become acceptable to others. In fact, there is the culture around us to lead us through their spectrum of perception. From family groups to the society at large, at schools, among peers, till the office and it never stops.
A stronger influence has been the media, and the saddest thing about the media, beauty industry and the likes is that they are not sure themselves, they are also victims of their own inventions. And so, every now and then we go back and forth in fashion and styles, ethics and moral values appreciate and depreciate, things come and go and though there may be many still striving to live up to the defined standards of the day, before long there will be a new trend, a change and again they will have to stop, adjust and try to blend in – to figure out how to express themselves through the order of the day.
And what’s wrong with that? Well nothing much, Change is constant and in fact, I love changes. Having said that, my concern is the effect and attitude some people have towards or as a result of change. I’m concerned that in the midst of all these, we reject ourselves, who we truly are and rather gratify our minds and assume we know who we are. When we leave our personality and God-given beauties in the mercy of others.
The first rejection people tend to face is self – rejection. You totally mask yourself and we can’t find you. Some even go as far as talking themselves down silently and bringing up a new image that they consider “perfect”.
We have learnt to multitask, play multi-roles, have multi camaraderie and be who they expect us to be and in the process we are lost. We love them and want to be their best, and so we change all there is to fit into their standards. Most times, we do it unconsciously and the result that follows is hardly announced to us: we reject the only person that truly matters so much – you.
I have seen some people struggle to answer some personal questions about themselves because they truly didn’t know. They weren’t sure of what they liked, preferred etc. Although some had answers, their contemporaries didn’t think the answers were solid.
A lot of people haven’t taken time to really know what they like, they just go with the current flow out there. Some have even narrowed themselves down to having no preferences in many choices that life has to offer.
Be that as it may, you don’t have to become indifferent to everyone just because you want to discover yourself and accept you rather, just the same way you were willing to accept others and wanted them to accept you, you should be willing to accept YOU – yourself.
would you be happy with you, if you were stuck with yourself for a week, no phones, no friends? Do you still remember the things you liked/like doing to make yourself happy and have fun? Do you know what your favorite color truly is or has your color changed and you don’t know why you dropped your favorite color for this one? Do you know you that well that you can tell what you’d like to do first in a new place? I can go on and on.
The point is, if you don’t come in terms to date and know yourself, you will not be happy even with someone else because you can’t even please your own self. If you don’t know how to make your own self happy after living with yourself all these years, then how could a total stranger figure out all of that in a few days, weeks, months or even years? If you knew yourself, you would be able to help others please you and join your happy world.
Don’t change anything good about you for someone else: for example, if you like doing something and you enjoy it, keep it up. Let’s say you meet someone who likes you so much and you like them too but he or she has a problem with you laughing a lot, don’t now say “OK, I’m going to stop laughing just so I could become perfect for him or her.”- That’d be a foolish thing to do – You chose them over you. Before long you will stop laughing indeed whereas in truth, you have started shutting down and rejecting yourself.
Soon enough, you will become a new person and a stranger to even your own self. Sooner or later, the real you inside will start crying out for acceptance, for companionship, and you may not know how to please it or even place your hand on it, you begin to find it hard to verbalise how you feel, because you barely related with you, but you would easily tell how someone else feels. I tell you, when one gets here, nothing anyone will do will make him/her satisfied, because the only person who could, had rejected him/her for too long a time.
We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves and not above ourselves. To do unto others what we wish them to do unto us. Love in truth is unconditional. love yourself regardless. God thought you were special and worth His very own life and placed a value so high on your life. See yourself in His Mirror. You are beyond amazing!
The greatest gift you can give to anyone is yourself, your true self and identity. God wanted you, just you so He gave himself for you. He wasn’t making any mistake because He can’t make one. Be smart and embrace yourself, if you value yourself, others will in turn value you, but if you despise yourself others will not hesitate too.